The Final Cylon? What's That?

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I’m kidding, of course. We’re a month away now from the return of the Battlestar Galactica final season — from the episodes that will definitively (or allegedly) answer all of the questions everybody has — and I have to say, I’m frakking PSYCHED to watch it. But what I’m less psyched to do? Is talk about it. Seriously.

I mean, I get it. I understand how excitement about this awesome, well-written, watershed TV show can lead people to speculate and theorize and post spoilers and read spoilers and start blogs and visit blogs and comment on blogs and so on and so forth. And for about two weeks after last June’s big cliffhanger, I was right there along with the crowd. “Dude, there is no way that’s actually Earth! Hera’s the final cylon? You’re crazy, and here’s why …” But then my interest quickly dropped off, to the point where I instituted — without really telling anybody — a kind of self-imposed “Battlestar Blackout”.

Why? Because too many fans on too many blogs are too sure that they know exactly what’s going to happen and/or have drawn a line in the sand to say, “If this/that does/doesn’t happen, it’s ridiculous, and I’ll lose all respect for the writers,” and/or are staking claims to wild guesses, just so they can brag next spring that they knew (fill in the blank) all along, and were the first to say it.

Some fans believe that Ron Moore has had the secrets plotted out all along. Some believe he’s been making it up one season at a time. Some fans have embraced the gradual evolution of the series’ tone into a realm of spirituality and moral ambiguity, while others feel this has taken the show in an esoteric direction away from the edgy action/paranoia tone it had in the beginning.

All the opinions are just too strong for my tastes, to the point where any discussion about it just becomes exhausting, and takes away from the fun of the show. It’s the same way I felt about talking politics with people this summer — one minute you’re having a friendly discussion, and the next minute, somebody’s either implying or outright telling you that you’re an idiot … because of a TV show.

I blame it on the SciFi Channel. Seven months was just too long to make people wait. It’s not too long to wait between seasons, but it’s definitely too long to wait between the two halves of one season. Fans have had too much time to speculate. Actors have had too much time to leak details. And now, still a month away from the show’s return, there are already trailers and “sneak previews” out there that are inevitably spoiling details about upcoming episodes … which is such a transparent attempt to manipulate people into debating with each other that it pisses me off a little. I’ve managed to dodge it all somehow, to keep myself clean and unspoiled … but I kind of resent that I’m being forced to.

And yes, I get the irony that I’m sitting here talking about not wanting to talk about the show.

Once the show is back on the air again, and there’s actually something happening to talk about, then I’ll drink the Kool-Aid and all will be forgiven. Until then, just keep your distance.

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