Indiana Jones and the Ubiquitous Theme Song

(Cue John Williams music.) Well, it’s finally here. Not sure if you heard about it yet, but after an almost 20 year hiatus, the fourth Indiana Jones movie — Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull — releases today.

I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t psyched to see this flick, and even if it’s not as great as my expectations, I can’t imagine I won’t completely enjoy it. After all, even Temple of Doom, with all its kiddie sidekick director’s wife flaws, managed to suck me in this past weekend.

One thing I have grown tired of, however, is the Indiana Jones theme song, which thanks to a pervasive cross-marketing campaign, just seems to be EVERYWHERE on TV lately. So to entertain myself, I decided to borrow a page from, and write up some lyrics. This way, I can at least have some words in my head as I hear the song over and over this summer. Enjoy!

He is Indi-ana Jones.
He’s a teacher, and he digs .. up .. bones!
Cracks a bull whip, wears a hat,
And he’s great with the chicks,
And they all seem to dig him.

Hates the Nazis, cuz they suck.
He’d be dead now, if it weren’t .. for .. luck!
Has some issues .. with his dad,
And the snakes make him squeal
Like a girl, and he hates them.

Found the Ark,
Found the Holy Grail.
Found some stones,
And some other stuff.
Banged some chick
On an elephant.
Well I don’t really know, if that last part, is really true.
I just made it up, but I would bet, that it is true.
He gets lots of girls, and blah-blah-blah,
Blah blah blah blah-blah-blah, blah blah-blah-blah,
Blah blah-blah-blaaahhhhh!

He is Indi-ana Jones.
He’s a teacher, and he digs up bones! …

Or something like that. I’ll be back with a review once I see it!

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