Heroes: Fight or Flight

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Sorry folks — no Maya & Alejandro in this week’s episode of Heroes. If you’re wondering what’s happening to them, my sources tell me they’ve moved 1.5 miles closer to the United States since last week. Claire & West were also a no-show, but have been spotted floating over portions of Southern California, boring so many people to tears that Governor Schwarzenegger has considered declaring a state of emergency.

Meanwhile, in Philadelphia, Matt & Nathan pay Matt’s father a visit. It doesn’t end well. Turns out Dad has the same power as Matt, but it apparently grows more powerful as you get older. The first upgrade, which we see Matt use by the end of the episode, is the ability to project thoughts into somebody’s head, as well just read them. And then at some point, you become Nightmare Man. Dad invites Matt & Nathan into a back room, then throws both of them into a nightmare state, Matt in jail fighting a gibberish-speaking guard, and Nathan on the post-apocalypse rooftop fighting a burned-up version of himself. They unknowingly fight each other for a while, and by the time Matt figures it out, Dad is already gone.

Unlike some, I’ve actually been enjoying the Hiro stuff so far this season … but not this week. It’s almost as if the writers went out of their way to give us absolutely NO action or conflict or intrigue at all with that storyline in this episode. Hiro narrates for us/Ando how he and TK performed all these heroic deeds since last episode. And we see them getting ready to perform some big heroic deed next episode. But all we get to see is them putting together a map puzzle and smiling goofily at each other. Not a single sword fight, time freeze, or wound healing. Why even bother?

Since Claire isn’t around this week, we’ll have to settle for the new blonde on the block, Elle, whose power is ELLE-ectricity. Get it? Anyway, she comes to Ireland, working for The Company and looking for Peter. She goes to the shipping yards and is all, “Are you sure this big container is empty?” and Leprechaun #1 is all, “Aye begora!” and she’s all, “What?” and he’s all, “Where be me shamrocks?” and she’s all, “Whatever,” and he’s all, “Magically delicious!” and she’s all, “I need a drink,” so she goes to the bar and Leprechaun #2 is all, “What’s the craic, boy-o?” and she’s all, “Um, haggis?” and he’s all, “Stew and stew and stew!”, and she asks about Peter, and he’s all, “Och no, the divil a one, innit?” and she’s all, “What? Is that even English?” and he’s all, “Fecking roight lassie,” and she’s all, “Please stop talking gibberish,” and he’s all, “Aw, g’wan ya gack, yer only coddin me,” and she’s all, “Zzzztttt!!!” and he’s all “(smolder smolder)” and she’s all, “But Daddy, I couldn’t help it! He kept talking Irish at me!” My guess is that this is her father …

Meanwhile, Peter opens his box, and doesn’t find any answers about his past. Just a photo of him and Nathan — who he doesn’t remember — his passport, and a plane ticket to Montreal. Then he gets an urge to do some super-painting, and luckily, Caitlin happens to be an artist. He paints a vision of what looks to be the two of them standing in front of a door in Paris. Then they go back to the bar, and find Caitlin’s extra-crispy brother.

Against Noah’s wishes, Suresh takes Molly to The Company for treatment, and while there, tasers a rampaging Nessica. Later on, he tries to set her free, but she tells him she’s there willingly, hoping to be cured. Does anybody remember when these two met last season? Because it’s completely eluding me. Anyway, then The Company sends Suresh to New Orleans to recruit Monica, who is now obviously on their radar. Repeat three times fast: “Mopey Micah says Monica is a muscle mimic.” So she’s not quite the same as Charlie, whose powers seemed more mental in nature. My guess is that Monica is poised to really shine next season, when — according to rumors — the bad guys will be Doctor Rope, The Dark Tomato, and Kommander Keyboard.